DOWA #3 – I Found Another Douchebag – Richard D. Land

My dad used to tell me “opinions are like assholes – everybody’s got them.”

I found today’s Douchebag of the week on accident. Someone posted an article on facebook and asked for people’s opinions on the article. Always having an opinion, and occasionally being considered an asshole myself, I figured I weigh in. 

I started reading this article titled “Adoption: The Best Option” by Dr. Douchebag Richard D. Land, executive editor of I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to be reading. Instead, I ended up quite surprised. It started as you’d probably assume. He talks about how more people should adopt, and over 100,000 kids are in foster care or orphanages. 

About 1/3 of the way through, he starts letting his own unique brand of crazy show. He actually starts encouraging more children to be put up for adoption. 

 “Adoption is the best answer in almost every case where a mother finds herself with a “problem” pregnancy. Such pregnancies can arise from numerous circumstances, but most commonly they are a “problem” because the father is not married to the mother.” 

While I can see that this may not be an ideal situation, personally, I find his definition of “problem” pregnancy a little bit offensive.  

 “Currently, almost all such single mothers choose either to abort or keep their babies (only 1 percent of such pregnancies currently end in adoption).”

Keeping the baby is good, right? Much better than abortion, I’d think. But why would he use the same classification of single mothers keeping their unplanned baby and aborting it? Oh dear God, how can they possibly consider Keeping Their Baby a good option? What are they thinking? 

Notice I said unplanned, not unwanted. There can definitely be a difference. Many pregnancies that a married couple have are unplanned as well, and that doesn’t mean that the parents don’t ultimately want their baby. It would be unplanned for me to find a $100 bill on the ground, but it certainly wouldn’t be unwanted.

 “Last year, 53 percent of babies born to women under thirty were born to single mothers. And yet, though adoption is seldom chosen in response to such pregnancies, it is virtually always the best option for everyone concerned.”  

So, it would be better for those 53% of children that are actually born to single mothers be put up for adoption? What kind of craziness is this? Oh yeah, it’s his own special kind of crazy.

How can anyone be so pompous as to say that if parents aren’t married, adoption is the best option for “virtually everyone”? Adoption is a better option than keeping and caring for their own baby? Because people who aren’t married, apparently can’t love their baby?  Can’t provide for their child? Can’t possibly have compassion? Certainly they can’t raise their own child? 

“Keeping the baby is almost never preferable to allowing a baby to be adopted into a solid, faithful Christian home.” 

Say What Now?  ”Solid, faithful Christians” are the only ones who should be allowed to adopt? No separation of church and state here. Nope. How very black and white. If they aren’t Christians they can’t be “good people,” and they certainly don’t have the capacity to raise a child. 

Going with that theory, if a married couple isn’t Christian then they should probably give their child up for adoption as well. So, only married, Christian people should be allowed to raise children. We should probably just have the churches hand out babies to whomever they see fit. Screw the legal process we have set up now – it must just be overrated. 

 “A single mother who keeps her baby is quite often denying that baby the father that God wants for that baby, and every baby, to have.” 

Who the hell put this guy in charge of telling single mothers what “God wants” for her and her baby? How can anyone make a blanket statement that those mothers should give up their child? 

Essentially, every single woman who was pregnant was destined to give that child up to a married, christian couple, so they would be blessed with a child, right? How fucking convenient.

He isn’t allowing the possibility that a woman who has a child may later marry and that child would then have a father figure. That couldn’t possibly be “God’s plan” for that woman and child. Also, he’s not considering the possibility the mother and father may decide to both have the child, but not get married. Nah, he’s right. The plan is so clear.

“If the mother is doing what is best for her baby (one of the defining marks of maternal love), she will part with her baby so that it will have the future God intended for him or her to have.”

So, a single, pregnant woman should have enough “maternal love” to give the child up, but couldn’t possibly have enough “maternal love” to raise the child herself. Richard Land knows the plan God intended for every child to have? Let’s all call him up to find out what the devine plan for our own children is too. I’m sure the mother couldn’t possibly have a clue of what’s best for her child. It’s much better that some pompous ass makes blanket statements that we should all take a face value. 

Further, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Shaquille O’Neal, Al Pacino, Jon Stewart, Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore, Alicia Keys, Samuel L. Jackson, John Lennon, Oprah Winfrey, Olympian Michael Phelps, and Bill Cosby were all raised by single parents. Apparently none of them had the “future God intended” them to have. Or, are they the only ones who did? This is both confusing and ridiculous.

 “Adoption allows the mother to give her child both a mother and a father who will love and cherish the child.” 

Pity. Now we find out that single mothers don’t have the ability to “love and cherish” a child. Apparently, that capacity is only given to a person after they are married, if they are Christian, and quite possibly, only if they adopt a child. Enlightening.

“It is a tragedy of tragedies that only 1 percent of the “problem” pregnancies in America end in adoption.” 

The tragedy of tragedies, in my opinion, is that people agree with the bull shit that this douchebag is spewing. That people support his crazy ideas. Not enough people are giving their child up for adoption? Only 100,000 in this country, so apparently that constitutes “shortage” of adoptable kids. We better be sure these Christian couples have enough of a selection when they are adopting a child. 

From where I stand, a shortage of adoptable kids would be an ideal shortage to have. That would mean all 100,000 of those kids who are currently “in the system” would be in loving homes. Seems like that would be a better goal than having more kids being put into the system by loving, single mothers, hoping that a married, christian family might someday adopt them.

And Finally, he ends his article with somewhat of a rallying call.  

 “Let’s all get behind adoption as the best option.” 

So I will end similarly. Let’s all get behind the idea that douchebags like this need to be told they are crazy. 

I did a little research and according to Wikipedia, Richard Land is the president of Southern Evangelical Seminary in Charlotte, North Carolina, a post he has held since July 2013. He was formerly the president of The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC), the moral and ethics concern entity of the Southern Baptist Convention in the United States, a post he held from 1988 – 2013. He was host of the nationally syndicated radio program Richard Land Live! from 2002 to 2012 and is the executive editor of The Christian Post.

I just have to say, if I were a member of ANY of those christian groups, I would be outraged that this is the representation that is being presented to the rest of world. Surely, that truly can’t be an accurate representation of their beliefs, can it? 
I agree with my dad. Opinions are like assholes. Perhaps, though, people who spout off such ignorant drivel need to consider duct tape to keep their mouth shut. After all, even though we all have assholes, we usually still walk around with pants on.

Douchebag Of the Week Awarded. However, I might just proclaim Richard Land King Douchebag. King of all Douchebags


Original photo by J D Hancock
Edited by me

21 Thoughts on “DOWA #3 – I Found Another Douchebag – Richard D. Land

  1. Amazing post! LOL! Yes, I definitely think duct tape would be in order for this idiot. I recently, in the past 2 years, started attending church with the family. I find it so hugely funny that my children are better behaved than any of the other “Christian children” from good “Christian families” ever try to be. That fool definitely needs to stop the drivel from coming out of his mouth! Hope you have a great week!

    • Thanks Stacey! I learned a while ago that people don’t need church or religion to learn good behavior, morals, and manners. It just takes a parent (or two – you know, whatever) putting in the time and effort to teach them ;)

  2. Wow! I couldn’t agree more. I am constantly amazed by the arrogance of these guys who claim they have some inside track into what God’s plans are. Your post brings up many questions that I often find myself mulling over.
    Who’s to say that there isn’t a plan for that single woman to raise that particular child, or that even atheists, or horrors– gay, people can’t be incredibly wonderful parents. In fact being raised by married Christians doesn’t guarantee you are being raised in an open, caring loving home, especially if those particular ‘Christian’ parents are haters, of any stripe!

    I could go on, and in my head I probably will…
    Good call on the DOWA Rhonda!

    • Thanks Nancy! Oh, he’s a wack a doo for sure! In your comment when I read “even atheists or horrors – gay people” I started cracking up, so thanks for making me laugh when just a bit before I was so perturbed by this tool. :)

  3. Patricia DiMercurio on December 3, 2013 at 6:31 am said:

    here here…. some people use their religion for some really strange soap boxes. I was brought up in a religious household. I was taught that God has an endless amount of love for EVERYONE. Guess that would also include single parents, offspring of those parents, parents of adopted children and even Richard Land. Thank you Lord. Because some people are really hard to stand, let alone love. Just because you are a married Christian very definitely does not make you a good parent. Unfortunately we are not perfect beings. We strive to be our best (at least I hope that is an ultimate goal) and I think God is happy with “being our best”.

    • Your thoughts are the message we should be hearing about all the time, and if I’m being honest, we do hear that much of the time. I know there are extremists in every group, but really, this guy is something I want to make sure my family and I stay far, far away from. I was really surprised he is the “leader” of so many christian organizations though. All we can do is try to do our best :)

  4. I am absolutely stunned by this! Speaking as a single parent with an absentee co-parent (his choice) I firmly believe this guy needs a good ole medieval “Christian” form of punishment. He’s a lunatic!

  5. Interesting. I definitely agree adoption is a good option but it doesn’t beat a capable, loving parent keeping their own child. You’re right- unplanned does not mean unwanted. Otherwise, the majority of people having babies now would be passing over their kids in this guy’s eyes.

  6. Gotta love all the double standards *eyeroll* good post!

  7. Holy shit! Where do I start? First of all Richard, who are YOU to judge anyone for anything? If being a single mother is a horrible thing, so is being a prick and you have that covered quite nicely.

    I’ve known a whole Baptist church of people who would probably call this man their mentor and friend. Guess what asshole? One of the pastor’s kids, who I’m assuming you, Richard (Can I call you Dick?) would say was raised in a ‘good’ Christian home, is a drug addict who not only lied to them and everyone around him, but burned down an apartment causing thousands of dollars of damage to the business below while cooking his meth.

    Another one of their kids died at age 29 after falling while trying to climb up the outside of his apartment building. He was also whacked out when he did it. But thanks be to God that these boys were raised in a good Christian home! Perhaps the family should have adopted a few more poor single-mom kids to raise ‘em right.

    Let me not forget to mention that these ‘good’ Christians were suspected of bilking the church out of thousands. But he’s a pastor and she leads Bible study so they’d be better parents than a single mom, right?

    This whole thing pisses me off so badly I can’t hardly form a straight thought.

    The biggest ‘problem’ I see here Dick, is you and your asinine beliefs.

  8. Well, now I’m feeling like my mom should have given me up for adoption when I was 10 because my parents got divorced … and, if not at that point since my dad was still nearby, then certainly when I was 13 and my dad moved to North Carolina.

    If she loved me enough, she would have.

    What a worthy recipient of the DOWA!

  9. Well it’s a good thing Joseph married the pregnant Mary otherwise Jesus would have had to have been given up for adoption…..

    Seriously–what the what?

  10. Theresa Lollis on January 9, 2014 at 11:03 pm said:

    People are really crazy! Seriously does this man own a bible? Does he realize who Jesus is ?!?!?!…. I can’t deal o.0

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