Foot Ashore, Pay to Pee, and Other Crazy Shit

I wanted to call this “the second installment of what the fuck is wrong with people.” Instead, I think it’s more about crazy shit happening all around us. Here are a few highlights that I don’t think you’ll want to miss.

Crazy Shit

First up with crazy shit is the city council of Pikeville, Tennessee. They’ve said if you are wearing saggy pants, you’re paying a fine. That’s right, pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground, now means you’ll have to pay up to $50. Three other cities previously have ban saggy pants. Believe me, I don’t wanna see the cracks, but in a country of freedom, a dress code for a city just doesn’t seem right.

While folks in Pikeville are worrying about how low everyone’s pants are, the Secret Service was concerned with a man who decided to strip naked outside the White House, while insisting he had an appointment with the president. I can hear that conversation now. “I have an appointment with President Obama. Nice weather we’re having. Don’t mind me. I’m just going to take off all my clothes while I’m waiting.” That’s some crazy shit.

From Washington DC to the Washington that is near and dear to my heart: A man in West Seattle decided to go into a Subway and order a meal. While it was being prepared he went into the bathroom and stole a toilet tank. What kind of crazy shit must be going through a person’s mind for them to steal a toilet tank? I suppose this is the point I should say something about needing a working toilet after a trip to Subway, but this man took those thoughts to a whole new level.

Imagine this…You’re a good person, right? Occasionally you have a little extra time on your hands? Perhaps you volunteer cleaning up a park to help make things just a little nicer? Volunteers at Centennial Park, just north of downtown Seattle, decided to do just that. While cleaning up the shore, they found a shoe. Inside the shoe? They found a fucking foot! Yes, a human foot was inside the shoe!

Sure, that’s some crazy shit, but the most surprising part of this story is this random foot brings the Seattle Waterfront appendage tally to 15 in the past 7 years! 15 random feet! Holy Hell! While it may not be common, it makes me think twice about a nice relaxing day at the beach with the kids.

Let’s stick with Washington for a little more crazy shit. A teacher in Vancouver, WA is being investigated because “Several third graders at Mill Plain Elementary said their third grade teachers require them to earn $50 of Monopoly money to buy toys, popcorn or pizza or use it to go to the bathroom.

What happens when this type of responsibility is given to third graders? They spend their money on fun things and piss in their pants. I shit you not. Parents are outraged. This story hits really close to home, so I may have more on this later.

Speaking of teachers, a substitute teacher was fired for asking 4th graders for dating advice. How screwed up do you have to be to ask a bunch of 10 year olds what you should do in your dating life? Not only asking them, they were role playing scenarios (although the report says all scenarios acted out were G-rated). Seriously, I have a 9-year-old – anyone who wants to trust the judgement of a kid this age is C-R-A-Z-Y! Seriously, some 3rd graders are pissing in their pants, and this chick is asking 4th graders for dating advice???

Did I tell you I see some crazy shit in the news, or what?!?

I have more!

Pick a state, any state…Let’s say Georgia! I’ve seen a bunch of crap from Georgia lately, but the winner of the state is that in Sandy Springs, Georgia you need your doctor’s permission to have a vibrator! Ding Ding Ding! That’s a winner! That’s right! You need a prescription to purchase a vibrator!

Local politicians have banned the sale of sex toys without a, “medical, scientific, educational, legislative or law enforcement,” purpose. WTF?  Are the guys in this town so insecure they don’t want all the single ladies (or all of their own wives) to have vibrators? Outlawing sex toys is never the right answer.

Who needs a vibrator anyway? Not this dancer from Florida. After being arrested on suspicion of stolen property, she decided to “have a good time” in jail. While in her cell, she stripped naked and began masturbating…not once, but several times. No pole was needed – she had bars. In fact, her acts were too much for the judge to read aloud, saying, “I’m not reading that” and “File this under ‘That’s a doozy.”

Speaking of masturbating, an off duty cop in New Jersey decided Starbucks was a great place to pleasure himself. He actually pulled down his pants and started going at it right at the table in a local Starbucks. Seriously, who the hell would do something like this???

Finally, here’s a Crazy Norwegian Bastard for you. No post about crazy shit would be complete without someone eating part of a human body. This psycho SOB gets his hip replaced and convinces his doctor to send his hip bone home with him so he can use it for his art. On a whim, he decides to boil it up and figures he better taste the meat – the meat is his own flesh from his own hip! According to this weirdo, it tastes like wild sheep. This should be filed under “don’t try this at home.”

Have you read anything else that competes with this crazy shit? Come on, out crazy me here.

31 Thoughts on “Foot Ashore, Pay to Pee, and Other Crazy Shit

  1. I need a drink after reading all of that…
    Twindaddy recently posted…RawrLove updateMy Profile

  2. I would love to know what your search engine analytics look like for this post! Hysterical.
    My Special Kind of Crazy recently posted…Weekend In Review: Memorial Day WeekendMy Profile

    • Not just this post – every day! It is insane. Right now I have 9 tabs open for news stories/blogs I need to read – don’t tell my husband – that makes him go batty. I read everything from ultra conservative stuff (that usually leaves me feeling pissed off) to uber liberal stuff (often times they leave me shaking my head too). If anyone ever went through my browsing history, I’m sure they’d think I was some type of crazy person with multiple disorders.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…Foot Ashore, Pay to Pee, and Other Crazy ShitMy Profile

  3. Crazy shit indeed! I have no words for this. None.
    Kim recently posted…How One Article Changed MeMy Profile

  4. Let me start with reminding you that you asked…
    OK I used to work at an upscale, grocery retail establishment, and we had a ‘customer’ who sat in our cafe (when it was filled with people including moms with kids) and decided he needed some relief, and began jerking off in plain view of everyone.
    One mom complained and he was removed and asked not to return, but here is the creepier part, he would call the store regularly to speak to me (the store manager) and ask me why he wasn’t allowed back, and it was clear to me that he wanted to hear me tell him about the incident… ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, no doubt he was reliving that delightful moment as I spoke to him. BTW, in his own defense, he claimed he was using a newspaper to cover himself, as if that would make it OK.
    Nancy Lowell recently posted…Pay Attention to the Bubbles!My Profile

  5. Doug in Oakland on May 27, 2014 at 6:26 pm said:

    The article I read about the law in Georgia pointed out that it is easier to purchase a gun there than a vibrator. I guess because they think that sexually frustrated women having guns is a good idea? There is a Molly Ivins video about a similar law in Texas wherein sex toy retailers can’t sell dildos as dildos, but must call them “safe sex education demonstration devices”… Guys? What are you so afraid of?

  6. This shit is crazy.

    My husband and I actually just moved to Sandy Springs and two weeks later, that sex toy thing popped up in the news because a woman filed a lawsuit against it. I don’t understand why government officials feel the need to constantly stick their noses into other people’s bedrooms.

  7. Wild sheep?? I would have thought it would taste like chicken. Maybe Seattle should start sending their found body parts to that crazy.
    Missy Homemaker recently posted…Whatever happened to the SAHM going back to work?My Profile

    • You seriously made me laugh out loud!

      Here ya go. Crazy shit in Ohio!

      Deadbeat dad ordered to not have any more children until his back child support is paid. Dad has 4 kids and owes over $100,000 in back child support. The order was originally handed down in January of 2013, but the court of appeals stood by the lower courts decision. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/14/asim-taylor_n_5322175.html

      How the hell are they going to enforce this? Is there a court appointed anti-baby sitter who goes out on dates with him and if romance is happening ensures he’s wrapping his package? Does he have to wear a sign saying “can have sex, can’t have kids”?

      Is this violating his constitutional right? What if he takes the religious point and says “be fruitful and multiply” – then is it a violation of his religious freedom? Most importantly – how much did his attorney charge him to appeal this and why the hell wasn’t that money going to the mothers of those 4 kids he already has? Yeah, it’s a crazy court order, but this loser not paying child support (and wanting more kids?) is equally insane.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…Foot Ashore, Pay to Pee, and Other Crazy ShitMy Profile

  8. That’s it! I’m flagging down the next UFO and hitchhiking my happy ass off this planet. SuperEarth, here I come!
    Terrye recently posted…$15 An Hour Minimum Wage, My Ass!My Profile

  9. I hear (and people send me messages) about fights that break out in Chuck E. Cheese, which is a KID place, but that cop in the Starbuck’s, that’s one Public Shooter that brings his own coffee creamer.

  10. I don’t WANT to outcrazy any of this!

    Terribly entertaining though. This shit makes me feel a bit more normal.

  11. well…maybe not more normal. But still..
    Michelle recently posted…The Anatomy Of Acute AnxietyMy Profile

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