Moms need a reality check. Being a mom is not the toughest job in the world, like a certain viral video has recently said. I swear that stupid video showed up in my Facebook news feed about 20 times. People ate it up and kept passing it around.
That video did a good job at pulling at heartstrings, but it did a pretty crappy job of accurately telling what being a mom is all about. Being a mom is not standing all day, never being able to sleep, and giving up everything you enjoy. The video says we are “Looking for someone who may have a degree in medicine, finance, and the culinary arts.” Give me a break! How many moms have that?
You can call yourself the “Director of Operations,” but if you do, many people I know will think you’re an idiot. Sure, there are some in the “mom circles” who will applaud you, but really, being a mom isn’t what many want to pretend it is as we pass along that video or similar memes like this one:
No. Just no. Why do these annoying things get passed around? It actually makes me cringe. It’s like the “Mother of the Year Participation Award” that moms love to share.
Are moms really so insecure that we need to pass this around to justify or glorify what we do? Similar items don’t tend to make their rounds about dads. Are they not just as important to our kids?
Honestly, I feel like most of the items listed here are insulting to me. But it’s fine if a mom rattles off a laundry list of inaccurate titles that define her role as a mother, but let a man mention this of the mother of his children, and women would be outraged. Imagine if a man said a mom was really a maid. We’d be passing that shit around the internet as fast as our computers would let us, and screaming that the man was a sexist pig.
Why do moms want to say, “I do ALL these things! Look how amazing I am.” Are they actually just feeling under-appreciated? Are they looking for some type of pat on the back? Are they trying to make others feel inferior to themselves?
Really, you may be a few of those things listed, but no mom is all of them. I’m really not throwing moms under the bus, but I think we need to step back and take a realistic view on this.
Cook – Throwing a frozen pizza or lasagna in the oven doesn’t qualify as being a cook. Oh, I occasionally do it, too. To say you’re a cook implies that you actually, uh, cook…a lot. Saying someone is a cook because we make meals for our families is stretching it, isn’t it? Wouldn’t nearly everyone who eats be a cook? (Apparently restaurant experience is overrated.)
Maid – What? And more importantly, why? Even little kids are able to learn the responsibility of helping out. Our family is a team. Kids need to learn responsibilities. If we aren’t teaching our kids to help around the house, we aren’t doing them any favors. A maid is a “female domestic servant.” I am not my kid’s servant, and I’d be pissed if that was how my kids or anyone else looked at me.
Waitress – This ties in with being a maid. If I am a waitress, I am failing as a parent. I don’t take orders from my kids. I rarely clear their plates from the table. My boys need to have more respect for our family than this. The world doesn’t revolve around them, and that is something they need to realize – sooner rather than later. (Have you ever actually worked in a restaurant?)
Teacher – Sometimes the teachers jobs and mine overlap, sometimes they don’t. I do teach my boys many things, most importantly are how to be a good person, how to be kind, how to be accepting. Teachers don’t teach that. Parents do. (Teachers go to school for 4+ years to teach and learn how kids learn – that’s probably unnecessary though.)
Nurse – I put band aids on knees – but usually, I tell the kids they really don’t need a band aid. I worry about them when they are sick – a nurse doesn’t do that. I’m not a nurse. I’m the one who decides when we need to go see a nurse. (Nurses actually have a nursing degree – you know, education training them on how the human body works… Who needs that?)
Photographer – Taking pictures with our phones or even a camera hardly qualifies us as photographers. This is an insult to actual professional photographers. (Classes on how to do this are pointless – that’s why we have point and shoot cameras after all.)
Counselor – I don’t charge big bucks for a one hour session, then tell them I’ll see them next week. Nope. It’s all incorporated in our daily lives. There haven’t been too many things that a good talk and a hug aren’t able to help with. If my son tells me about the problems he has at school, I offer up some suggestions. That’s what parenting is about. (Again with the schooling and qualifications. Sheesh!)
Handyman – Not even close. Changing batteries on a toy does not qualify as being a handyman.
Event Planner – Planning what? A play date? A birthday party? What the hell are you planning where you’d be able to say you’re an event planner?
Hairdresser – I have two boys. The most I ever do is comb their hair. That hardly qualifies me as a hairdresser. (Cosmetology certificates aren’t needed here – just hand me some scissors!)
ATM? Nu uh.
Security Officer – Because I lock the doors of MY house at night? Come the hell on.
Who comes up with these things? Am I an electrician because I change the occasional light bulb? Am I a surgeon because I remove a sliver? Am I a pharmacist because I dispense some Tylenol when my kids are sick? That’s as ridiculous as the rest that are on this list.
Laundress didn’t make this list? Come on. Laundry is something I do. I wash it and fold it. They put that shit away themselves.
Ass wiper. I used to do that. Exactly which category does that fall into again? That’s a parenting reality. I may even be an expert ass wiper. Wonder why that one didn’t make the list.
Now, the next part is what always gets thrown out there. “I don’t get paid holidays, sick pay or days off. I work DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life.”
What do you want from people when you say stupid shit like this? You don’t get a salary for being a mom, so of course you don’t get paid days off. But, you also don’t work Day and Night. Occasionally you will have to get up in the night with your kid, but it’s not like you are constantly on watch, never sleeping.
It seems like people are saying, “Look at how much I do without getting paid. Look at how hard it is. Poor me.”
No. Not poor you. You chose to have a kid, and it isn’t something you walk away from. It isn’t something you get a freaking medal for either!
Dress code is easily pajamas many days. We don’t have to do our hair or makeup. Many things get done on our own timeline – not someone elses. Sometimes we check out on Facebook for a while or playing Candy Crush or other such time wasting nonsense. We sometimes talk on the phone to catch up with family or friends. I’m not saying it’s always easy, but it sure as hell beats many other things I could be doing.
Here’s my point: Yes, to our kids, we are special, and we do a lot. We don’t need to pretend to be more than we are. I don’t mind being called “just a mom” because that is what I am. I don’t interpret that as a sign of weakness or a slam on my self-worth. I have never been embarrassed to say I’m a mom, but I don’t need to glorify it either.
Actually, I’m quite grateful for being “just a mom.” I get to spend time with my kids. I’m fortunate to go on field trips with them and volunteer in their classrooms. Many days I do have some “me time” to write or take a bath or totally veg out while watching a TV show while they are at school. I am able to enjoy the sounds of them giggling while playing together before school, and the sound of silence while they are at school. Instead of passing around things telling everyone how hard it is, we should appreciate that we are fortunate enough to have the opportunity.