I Had to Ban the Asshole

Some of you saw my post on Facebook the other day, but for those of you who missed it and for those who are curious, I had to ban an asshole. That should put me in some kind of special blogger club or something. Bloggers Who Have To Ban Assholes might be a fun club to be in. I’ve had a few people ask me what the hell was going on, so today I’m sharing.

ban an asshole

Before I share the whole conversation, I will tell you, I’ve never banned anyone before, not even previous assholes. I don’t moderate blog comments. I’ve never removed a comment from my blog because it disagreed with me.

When it came down to it, I was conflicted on banning him. Sure, he was a complete asshole, but I love free speech. I believe in everyone being able to express themselves, whether it be in agreement or disagreement. So, I let this douchebag go on and on with his opinion, for probably much longer than I should have.

What this guy was lacking, and what ultimately led to him being banned, was respect. Even a condescending respect would have helped out here.

What I didn’t realize when I banned him on Facebook was that all the conversations he was part of would be hidden. I can still see them, but no one else can. That wasn’t my goal. I don’t like hiding what was said. I only had two choices – either keep it open as a free for all, or hide everything to do with Mr. Asshole.

I’ve had a few people ask me what was so bad that I would ban him. It wasn’t when he bashed women in general. It wasn’t even when he felt like he could judge me and my parenting based on a few replies I made back to him. When he resorted to name calling and personally attacking another person who made comments on the page, the line was crossed.

I’m sharing a screen print of the conversation below. But, if you are my mom, mother in law, or anyone who may get offended by some extremely disrespectful words, I’d suggest you don’t read it.

Last week I shared a Huffington Post link on Kansas’s proposed spanking bill on my Facebook wall. I shared it a day or two before I wrote about the comments I’d been seeing. The comments below were all under that link.

My First Troll

I guess I’ve decided that in my tiny internet space, I have to draw the line somewhere. Differences of opinions and spirited debate will always be welcome. Calling other people who comment terrible names, can’t be. If Charlie Wilson, aka Mr. Asshole, wants total freedom of speech, he can have it on his own blog and Facebook page.

49 Thoughts on “I Had to Ban the Asshole

  1. Aaaahhh, thanks for blogging it!

    In reading all of Charlie’s wonderful insights on parenting, something new pops out at me every time. “Infected with feminism.” That should have been our red flag right there, lol.

    I think it’s a good thing you banned him after his comment to Jessie. She’s my best friend, and I would have gone ape-shit-tastic on him. Calling me those things? Fine, whatever. Calling my friends the same? Prepare for the hurt, douchewaffle.
    Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) recently posted…Cutting TiesMy Profile

    • I am noticing the same thing – something new every time. Yeah, “infected with feminism” was one of my personal favorites as well. Also, apparently the fathers have no responsibility to the children, since they were never mentioned. I probably should have banned him after I saw where his comments were going with me. But, I have thick skin. I didn’t think he’d go off on other people.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  2. Yup I have had this issue only one time on my blog and I didn’t ban the person, I just told them that if they continued to be argumentative (after posting numerous comments) I would no longer publish them. I felt like fair warning was given, he got the point and the end. But on FB it seems like people just can’t stop. I have only banned 2 people from my page – both times because they resorted to offensive name calling. I think you handled it wonderfully and honestly I was quite disgusted with his comments (and that’s saying a lot). Kudo’s lady for keeping your class when a lesser woman might have cracked:) xoxo
    The Shitastrophy recently posted…Even My First Kiss Was Embarrassing!My Profile

    • Thanks. I think on FB it’s easier for people to hide behind the computer and say any old crap, whether they believe it or not. It’s easier to be more “over the top” when you don’t have to face someone. I think a lot of people figured if I thought it was bad enough to ban someone over, it must have been really bad. And they were right. If you thought it was disgusting, I wasn’t off the mark :) That’s why I had to put my little disclaimer there too.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  3. Wow. Just…wow. When I first saw the title of this post I was like, “Aren’t all trolls loons?” Then I read that…garbage. What the fuck? I’m sorry you and the others had to deal with that psychotic prick. I hope you know that douchewaffle doesn’t speak for all men.
    Twindaddy recently posted…Your Help Is NeededMy Profile

    • Nah, his crazy measure rating off the charts! I actually feel sorry for him, having to go through life with so much hatred. I’m sure he won’t be my last troll, but he maybe I was hit with the worst first.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

      • What am I doing wrong? I’ve been at this for over three years and I’ve never had a troll, per se. I had an extremely religious dude for a while who would pop in on certain post, but he always presented his side respectfully even if he was a bit hardheaded about it.

        They say you haven’t made it until you have haters and I don’t have any! At least, if I do none of them have told me yet.
        Twindaddy recently posted…Your Help Is NeededMy Profile

  4. I just had to ban someone last week on my work’s FB page for being the same way. It’s a shame that people these days feel like it is their reight to be so disrespectful to other human beings

  5. Since we already had this conversation about this piece of shit, I just want to say that I commend you for banning him. It struck me as interesting that not only did he only target women, but AMERICAN women in general.
    He’s an idiot, and idiots can’t be changed no matter how much we’d like to convince them to be otherwise. Well done my friend.
    Missy Homemaker recently posted…Stockpile is the WordMy Profile

  6. Wow I think he left you no choice but to ban him. Unfortunately some people hide behind their computers and heap their crazy on the world cause they get a kick out of it and feed off of getting people to react.
    Susie (The Esthetic Goddess) recently posted…Anti-Aging Products That Actually WorkMy Profile

  7. I feel really protective of my readers in a way that I don’t about myself. When someone craps on one of them and starts calling them names, that’s the part where I feel like I need to take action. Call me a cunt, whatevs, it’s the internet–call my reader a cunt, and I’m deleting your comment.

    • It’s funny how we feel like that. I think I realized that I don’t have to take it directed at me either, where initially maybe I felt like I did. But definitely no one else has to take that shit. Ah, perhaps Charlie made an impact – just not in the way he was meaning to.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  8. Rhonda, I’m not a very religious person who says a lot of prayers but I just said one now asking that this person never have a child in their power. His horrible thoughts made me sick to my stomach and can’t imagine him as a parent. You’re right that we all deserve to express our thoughts but when you do so in a way that is disrespectful to others, it’s time to pull the plug. You handled him really well and deserve kudos for your restraint.
    Kat recently posted…The Last Snowman – Review and GiveawayMy Profile

  9. Wow, that was intense. So sorry this happened to you! Thankfully no trolls on my fb page yet, I just wish I will know what to do when the time comes.
    Jhanis recently posted…Renovations in Progress. Please Stand By.My Profile

  10. Someone needs to call up Charlie’s mom and show her how her son is acting. That right there is a grown man who needs an ass whoopin’.
    Rose @ An Exercise in Frugality recently posted…Kroger Coupon Matchup 2/23-3/4My Profile

  11. Wow! I don’t blame you at all!! I had a troll attack me in a friend’s comment section as well and both of us were dumb founded that a person could be that cruel and visious toward another person, especially someone you don’t even know! I would have banned them also!!
    Melissa Senecal recently posted…Twisted Mix TapeMy Profile

    • Right! I even understand if he were to attack my statements. He could have said many things that would have showed his disagreement with what people were saying, instead of attacking people he doesn’t know. That was the crazy part – someone can’t criticize my parenting if they don’t know how I parent.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  12. Whoa- I myself have used the C word on occasion but never called a group of people it in what should have been a healthy debate. People always take things too far.
    Kate recently posted…Things The Alisha Nicole wished she knew before starting a blogMy Profile

  13. Doug in Oakland on February 24, 2014 at 8:10 pm said:

    Yup, 100% USDA choice troll. Perhaps he didn’t get enough attention as a child? Or learned the difference between good attention and bad attention. It’s not difficult to figure out how to push people’s buttons to get a reaction, the disruptive children he seems so fixated on do it all the time. Only he does it because he gets off on it, and in the process poisons your discussion space, which is not acceptable. They say don’t feed the trolls, but that can be tricky to pull off without ceding your space to them. I think you handled this admirably. For myself, I fall back on the words to an old Who song for trolls:
    “…Let’s forget you better still”.

    • Thanks Doug. I guess I just need to learn when to say “Enough!” You’ve summed up my dilemma perfectly though. I think the personal attacks on people he didn’t personally know is what was too far. I didn’t mind so much when it was directed more toward me. I know he doesn’t know how I parent my kids, so him attacking my parenting wasn’t a concern. Charlie certainly has issues.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  14. I think I know what this guy’s problem is. His life is filled with people who treat him the way he treats them, but because he is a white male and therefore is entitled to create fear and instill obedience through torture, anyone’s natural inclination to stop the abuse or list all the ways he is wrong is “disrespectful”.

    He’s such a coward, but cowards are not harmless. They hurt – often badly – those who cannot defend themselves whenever they can get away with it. But I think he enjoyed being the center of everyone’s universe for the time he was able. I suspect he’s snickering at being banned. He will wear that like a badge of honor.
    Penelope recently posted…A New Perspective on HairMy Profile

    • I’m afraid you are probably right. I would have loved to have not given him the satisfaction of being banned – but allowing him to continue to try to stir up trouble couldn’t continue either. If this is how he gets his kicks, I have to feel badly for him. What a miserable existence.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

      • I’ve known people like him – though not as militant, they are still bigoted a$$holes with delusions of entitlement – and they thrive on negativity. Booting him was the best answer. He’ll move on, and like a coward he won’t be back.
        Penelope recently posted…A New Perspective on HairMy Profile

  15. You did the right thing in banning him. The banner on my face book page says specifically it is ‘my house’. I remind people all the time, especially during controversial discussions I expect ‘respectful’ and ‘mindful’ behavior. If they do not act with respect, I will and have more than once, deleted comments. If the same person offends more than once I ban.

    • I would think we wouldn’t have to remind adults to be mindful and respectful – obviously I’m wrong here though. I think a reminder is probably in order sometimes, but there was going to be no reigning this particular troll in. I’ve learned though that in the future I will handle things differently.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  16. It’s obvious he does this for kicks and probably jumps at any chance he gets to stir up shit. People like this need professional help.

    You did the right thing; to be honest, I wouldn’t have lasted as long as you did. To hell with freedom of expression when the person is an asshole.
    Suzanne Lucas recently posted…Open Apology to the Google + Follower I Offended TodayMy Profile

  17. What is wrong with people? Seriously, what a horrible person. I consider myself a very non-violent person (regardless of the shit I talk sometimes) But I really want to hit this person with a shovel.
    RageMichelle recently posted…Personal Space And Tooth NubsMy Profile

    • ha! You made me smile. This guy has issues for sure. I’m also non-violent, but like someone else said, this guy needs an ass whoopin’. He did teach me though not to put up with shit like this in the future. Live and learn – and it was certainly a learning experience for me.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…My First Troll Was a Complete LoonMy Profile

  18. norminws on March 1, 2014 at 8:31 pm said:

    mr charlie wilson is obviously hurting, i wonder how many “baby mamas” have “shit-out” his offspring, only to split with him once they realize what kind of a man he is? my guess is he’s bitter toward women because of the “women that got away”, as quickly as they could, from his sorry ass. he strikes out irrationally at women and at the same time displays a deep hostility toward children (a coward in my book). i suspect he’s speaking from experience. it is the tale of his own relationships that he reveals. he does not have the opportunity to be a “dad” and beat his kids because “baby moma” split and won’t let him anywhere near them. i’d be willing to bet he pay his salary (not much) in child support and is just bitter with hate because he’s dirt poor white trash and just doesn’t want to embrace it. he’s a total loser. just my opinion.

  19. I read part of it and then had to stop. Ugh. I understand your dilemma, though! Deciding when to ban someone or delete their comments can be incredibly hard. As you said, free speech should always be welcome. But as soon as their speech becomes abusive, that’s a pretty damn good reason to give them the boot. What people like this don’t understand is that it IS possible to disagree with someone without resorting to insults. So if he can’t be respectful, he doesn’t deserve to participate.

    • I don’t blame you for having to stop before getting completely through all of that garbage! I don’t think I’ll wait as long next time. Abuse/rudeness isn’t necessary and if people don’t already know that, I don’t need to be the one to teach them! 😀
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…A Reminder About Stranger DangerMy Profile

  20. You did the right thing, Rhonda. It’s not about disagreeing with someone. I think we learn when we are willing to have an honest discussion. This was not an honest and open discussion. This guy will just move on to someone else he can abuse. I’m glad you banned him. You are protecting me as a reader when you dump the people who spew hatred. Thank you!
    Jennifer Steck recently posted…Tough Love WritingMy Profile

    • Thank you Jennifer. I appreciate the way you phrased that. You’re right that we can learn from an honest discussion. I don’t mind at all when people disagree with me. I love learning how other people think – what am I missing. But he wasn’t listening as much as just spewing out garbage.
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…A Reminder About Stranger DangerMy Profile

  21. Holy Shit, Rhonda!!! I didn’t see this before … Americunt Skank. That’s new. And he was really digging in, wasn’t he??! Whew.

    I’ve had someone call me “everything that’s wrong with mom bloggers”–same chick twice, but nothing vile like Charlie Wilson. You hit the big time, eh???

    Cheers! (And glad you banned him. He doesn’t deserve time on your page.)
    Real Life Parenting recently posted…You Might Be an Asshat if You Think People With Food Allergies Are Ruining Your LifeMy Profile

    • LOL Jen! I figure we have to give the douchebag credit for creativity! I guess for me it’s “go big or go home” and Charlie fuck face was big.

      As for the person who said that to you:
      1. are you really a mom blogger?
      2. why would you be what’s wrong with anything?
      3. Maybe that person needs a reality check.

      Yea! First troll ban and future ones won’t be able to go on as long as this one did!
      Rhonda @Bitch & Whine recently posted…A Reminder About Stranger DangerMy Profile

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